This day has brought me much anxiety the past few years. I know this is probably going to come out wrong or be misinterpreted. I by no means want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I feel like I need to express my opinion on how this holiday is portrayed. How it is bring brought down and how it seems we cannot celebrate it as it should be.
Here is my back ground. I got married in May of 1999. I had always dreamed of being a mom someday to several children. I would play with my baby dolls all the time as a child. It was in my DNA to be a mom. Well, after I graduated college my husband and I started trying to grow our family. A year went by and nothing. So off to the fertility specialist we went. I was put on medication and a few months later we got the positive test. We were so excited. But 6 weeks later tragedy struck and I almost lost my life due to a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Of course I was devastated, but what devastated me the most was I lost a tube in surgery and was told I would probably not ever get pregnant on my own without the help of IVF.
But here’s the deal. Of course I was yearning to be a mother. But when Mother’s Day would roll around…I celebrated my mother and my friends who were mothers. I didn’t turn it on my self and feel self pity. I celebrated those who God had made mothers before me.
So fast forward 7 years…yes we struggled with infertility for 7 years. Three failed IVF cycles before we were blessed with our twin girls in 2007. I was finally able to have my first Mother’s Day and It was awesome. Then around 2010 we decided to try for one more child and after 2 more failed IVF cycles we had our baby boy in 2012. Up until now our church had celebrated this holiday in honor of Mother’s in an upbeat manner. There was no negativity associated with this day. It had been several wonderful Mother’s day recognized and then something changed. It wasn’t just “Happy Mother’s Day” anymore. It was “Happy Mother’s day…BUT! It couldn’t be left on a high note…they had to point out everything that could be negative about this holiday. Please Don’t get me wrong. My heart hurts for those who struggle with infertility, for those who have lost their moms or God forbid a child. I pray for those women, especially because I have walked in their shoes.
I have lost babies and it hurts like nothing else. Thankfully I have not lost my mother. She is still here to be celebrated as my mother. But one day I will have to carry on with Mother’s Day without her, but I will remember her and still celebrate her. I guess here is my beef with the entire thing. Father’s Day rolls around and its just “Happy Father’s Day!” Its all happy and joyful…but when its Mother’s Day lets bring up all the heartache that can be attached with this day. I’m tired of having the dooms day Mother’s Day recognized. Thrown in my face every 365 days. Happy Mother’s Day…BUT! Can we just for once (Again), have this be a Happy day in celebration of mother’s everywhere. Remembering our mother’s and If God has blessed us with children then we get to be celebrated as well. I struggled for 7…SEVEN years to be a mom….and I think I have deserved to have someone say “Happy Mother’s Day!” and leave it at that.
I have had this eating at me for several years now. Sitting in my church and almost being made to feel guilty for being a mom on Mother’s Day. How dare I be happy when so many people are hurting. But if I were a father…It’s all joyous! No one mentions those dads going through infertility or losing a dad or a child. Even though we all know they are hurting too. I guess no dad has ever stepped up to make a stink about people celebrating Father’s Day with out a BUT attached to the end.
I’m sorry if I have offended you. This was not intended to do that. But I felt strongly that I needed to speak my mind. There is so much doom and gloom in this fallen world. We have to find the little things that make us happy and remember how much we are all truly blessed by GOD! He loves us all no matter how broken we all are. He walked by my side when I was struggling and I felt him. He gave me hope. And he blessed me with 3 totally amazing and God loving children. I am honored that He made me their momma. I am reassured through his word and my faith that I will one day get to meet the babies that we lost in our failed IVF’s and my ruptured Ectopic pregnancy. Because I know that once fertilization happens these babies have a soul and are 100% human. So I am going to enjoy this day celebrating GOD and the many ways he has blessed me. I hope you all can do the same. I’m going to go put some Release Oil on so I can let it go and have a great day!
Happy Mother’s Day Y’all!!!